Latina Sovereignty

To Whom Ever It May Concern:

            Often times I find myself assuming that people are coming from the same heart and experience that I am. That is my tragic flaw. So before you indulge in my philosophical rant, you’ll have to indulge on the substance of my anger. Anger? More often than not you’ll think it sounds violent. What about being mad and annoyed at the same time makes society think that an angry woman like me is violent? Nothing more than societies consistent defiance to acknowledge the ceaseless violence I am exposed to. They tell me my anger is reckless, only because they do not want to lose the gains they make off of being violent towards me.

            Violence against women is institutional, and so is racism. This much you should know. There is one thing that no one talks about. No feminist panel. No politician. No law. Nobody talks about what affect it has on a woman to be a woman, of color, and be poor, and how to combat it. Nobody intertwines gender, race, and economic status, and its adverse reaction to that person’s existence, though some may genuinely try to. I will; as I am Latina stuck in the American profit of keeping the greater chunk of the American population poor. Everyone thinks that being a woman and being Latina is my biggest problem. It isn’t, my biggest problem is not having enough money to protect myself from the backlash I get from being Latina.

            Knowing that there is backlash for being born a certain gender, a certain race, and with a certain tax bracket above your head depreciates your value before you’ve even opened your eyes. I can only be so much now. Now that society has viewed my complexion, heard the accent of my native tongue bruising their English, and judged my clothing not knowing how hard my mother, then later in life myself, worked for that outfit: now I can only be so much. How do I refute judgment when my cognitive development is still trying to grasp the fundamentals of 1+1?

            I wouldn’t be who I am today if I wasn’t a poor Latina. You could change one concept and my whole entire letter to you would change. It would change because someone like me hasn’t been acknowledged, not even by the feminist panels I adore. No one talks about women like me. No one talks about what type of love I need to heal from everything society has deprived me of. I get to take bits and pieces from my favorite works and glue them together like Pangaea and theorize on how those pieces become a piece of work addressing me. That is exactly what this philosophical piece is. It is my attempt of explaining the Pangaea I’ve created in my mind, by other women who have addressed only certain parts of me. This Pangaea of Ana Rivera, Bell Hooks, Angela Davis, Rose Kennedy, George Yancy, and more, is my souls daily prayer. This Pangaea has helped me make sense of, and has built resilience towards my oppression. I hope my work becomes a solid piece, a real piece of theory and philosophy for women like me. I hope that when a little girl like me is making father’s day cards for her mother who won’t get back from her second job until her young daughter has been long asleep, I hope pieces like mine, give her elasticity in her heart to bare more instead of self loathing for things she can’t control. I hope that those women who are both a man and a woman, the breadwinner and the caretaker, begin to acknowledge just how powerful they really are. I hope that these women become as boisterous in feminist panels as the women who only acknowledge being a woman and being of color.

            My anger is beyond my economic status, it is far more than just the IRS and it’s grouping of my annual income and the government’s inability to pay me as they do my brothers, or America’s lack of investment or acknowledgement in people like me. My own sisters have betrayed me, as I am overlooked. The loudest voices representing women of color are black women. Yet black women only speak of themselves, not acknowledging how closely related the Latino and Black struggles really are. Women of color fight for matters that relate and diminish when the issues get personal. We will all fight together for equal pay, but the white woman falls off the struggle when she gets as close as she can get to a man’s pay. Then there is just us: the Blacks, Asians, and Latinas. The black woman will continually fight for her, not acknowledging all of the Afro-Latina’s who are exposed to the same black hatred. The Latina will fall off too ignoring the Asian fight for immigration after they’ve been destroyed by American funded wars just like us. We ignore each other, not realizing how much we are alike, how much we need each other. This separation between us is not our fault, but it is our next accomplishment. To acknowledge each other, and fight together while the rest of our white comrades are progressing ahead of us.

            Men have hurt me as much as they have, and I won’t ponder on it. I won’t ponder on how my Spanish, my curves, my assets, are upheld as a distraction and a temptation to a man. I won’t ponder on how the way I dress will be the defense attorney’s rebuttal if I were to ever get raped. I won’t ponder on how I will never be given a rape kit to prove that I was raped, but instead served a rape kit to prove that I wasn’t raped. I won’t ponder on the violence my own men have allowed. I won’t acknowledge my objectification, not because it doesn’t matter, not because I don’t suffer from it. I won’t acknowledge what men do to me because to acknowledge is to verbally recognize a man’s complete authority of me. What I will do is contest man’s constant invasion of my right’s; I won’t let this violence end in a man’s authority of me.

            These issues of violence, economy, gender, race, immigration, rape culture, and all the other things we face everyday only exist because our government doesn’t include us. It shouldn’t, because it will never know how to represent us. I could never be a representative of the American government. Not because I don’t believe in the bill of rights, but because I do not have the six figures it cost, nor would I lose my accent, nor would I drop the sway in my hips, or my anger. I couldn’t sit in Congress and fight over whether or not we should continue to fund wars, because my outburst on how the frontline of soldiers are primarily Black and Latinos from poverty who were sold the American dream would get me removed from Congress. I could not sit in a government who choosily so does not represent me, or the millions of Latino tax payers who fund and pay the very bills that objectify me.

            I do believe in sovereignty. I do believe in self-governing states. I do believe in feminism. I do believe in fighting for an opportunity to make something of myself. I cannot be all that I can be if women do not begin investing in female sovereignty. Self-governing states of power run by women wouldn’t be enough, I need self-governing states run by Latina’s for Latina’s. We need to be our own answer to all of our woes. We need to fund in our own educations, or own protection, our own laws, our own political representatives. Because Sonia Sotomayor’s beloved world has been colonized by America and has left the occupied territory of Puerto Rico to fend for itself. Because President Obama hasn’t addressed the clear segregation between those who live in the housing authority projects and those who live in the rest of the city, because everyone we voted in to power has forgotten where they came from. We need to make our own power to have our own power.

            Shouldn’t the American government be enough? Shouldn’t the government who upholds such a virtuous Bill of Rights be enough for us? No it is not enough for us. The American government since 1776 has only ever held a male president. The American government completely disregards the notion that a woman can run a country. Furthermore, it wasn’t until 2008 that we finally got our first Black president into power. Have we forgotten that it was colored people who were here first? Obama becoming president was a gain for Black men that Black women rejoice in solely on the basis of their skin color, because Obama has done nothing for his women. Women are a small active and rather new portion of the American government, all that I only rejoice in because of gender and some because of my race, none because they represent me, or my people. The first woman in Congress was of course white, in 1916 Jeannette Rankin. As Bell Hooks argues, “…indeed one could easily argue that white women’s allegiance to white supremacy trumps feminist sisterhood…”, so of course there is a wide gap of years for when women of color enter Congress. It wasn’t until 1968 that the first Black woman entered Congress, Shirley Chisholm, and finally in 1989 Illeana Ros-Lehtinen, the first Latina enters Congress. It has only been 25 years since the fist Latina entered the American congress.

            It has only been 25 years since any hope of a Latina’s issues being heard in Congress was instilled. Really it’s just a dream that was sold; it was America trying to diversify their Congress and to quiet the Latina’s. The last census reports 14.4 million documented Latina’s, so our recently immigrated sisters aren’t included in the number. Those 14.4 million Latina’s are represented by 9 Latina congresswomen, meaning that only 3% of congress is supposed to represent 14.4 million people. Is that realistic? How are those 9 women supposed to fight with or against the other 426 representatives? How are those 9 women supposed to fight for a whole nation of Latina’s when they also have to represent the state that put them into Congress?

            It isn’t enough. The American congress could never put enough people in its power that would address the issues we need addressed. We are not in power because the American government doesn’t address our sexuality, or constant colonization, nor our economic restrictions. Only we can do that, and only we can change these matters. Those women in Congress had to fill the seat before them. They had to be as good as the white man before them. Those women have sacrificed the matters of sexuality, they have become colonized, and just to be what they think is freed of economic restriction. Unfortunately, I’m almost positive congresswoman Ros-Lehntinen even after 25 years of service still gets paid much less than her male counterparts. She failed to fix or address any of our real issues. This is why the American government isn’t enough. This is why we need female sovereignty for and by Latina’s where we can face and own our sexuality, begin to decolonize our minds, and invest in ourselves to work towards the freedom of economic restrictions.

Sexuality

            Female sexuality is criminalized. Your ethnicity is a heavy influence of your sexuality. When I tell people I am Latina I’m expected to have the curviest of hips with the smallest of waists. I am supposed to be the perfect mix of colonization: lightly bronzed skin, long hair, big butt, big boobs, and nice eyes, all the light features from the conquistadors and all the voluptuous features from my Indigenous and African ancestors. I’m supposed to have the most seductive accent. I am supposed to be provocative, raw, and sexy. So sexy, provocative, and untamed that I’d have to look more like Hilary Clinton and less like myself to be taken seriously in Congress. Dare I try to leave my curly untamed hair in Congress, dare I wear something that fits and shows off whatever curves I may have, if any, I’d be the greatest distraction. Why do I have to look more like the white woman who served ahead of me to qualify to be a congresswoman? I don’t. I can just establish my own representative body that lets me be as sexy, or not sexy as I want.

            Our sexuality, emotions, appeals, whatever it maybe has nothing to do with the government. I can be as sexy as I want, and if a grown man cannot do his job because of how sexy I am, then it is he who is not qualified to do his job, not me. If I cry while reporting on the attacks in Benghazi, Libya, my emotions shouldn’t be scrutinized because of my sexuality as Clinton was. It was a terrorist attack, innocent people died, why scrutinize Clinton for being an “emotional” woman? Why not ask yourself why your representatives aren’t in Congress crying over the people we lose everyday? Human emotions are the same regardless of your race, class, or gender. We all cry. We all get angry. It is women who are heavily scrutinized when in power; it is us who are bitter for being angry. It is us who are weak, or misleading for crying. We can never just be.

            There is no hope in sexual justice from the American government. The sexuality of a woman is not worshipped; instead it is pornified, and used against her as a bad trait. If we are sexy we are sluts. It is the perspective of a woman’s sexuality that needs to be change, for a woman can work and be what she wants. It is our insidious capitalist government that profits off of the sexuality of a woman as Ana-Maurine Lara explained “The management of relationships… The violent management of the most intimate levels of sexuality not just in terms of actual bodies… but rather on the level of the spiritual connection of human beings reducing its scope to who is sexually involved with whom, who is and is not reproducing, what kind of families are built, and what kind of souls are forming. This forming a kind of sexual terror”. More money comes from the women who are pornified; the Kim Kardashian’s, than those women who are proactive. Neither woman is wrong. Both women are being who they want to be, it has nothing to do with the fact that they are women, and it has everything to do with them being who they want to be. When it comes to the sexuality of a woman what is acceptable and what isn’t has nothing to do with herself or her motives; the sexuality of a woman has been used as a repressive force in colonization and the economy. Sexuality is something to own instead of covering up because it is in fact who we are. It is a part of our personal traits and personality. We can be as sexy as we want to be. We can be as plain as we want to be. Neither of the two have any influence on how well I accomplish my job.

Colonization

            America is not post-colonialism. It’s not just my home countries; it’s not just Latin America being colonialized for American corporations profits, it is our minds. Our ideas of sexuality aren’t the only strains of colonialism either, as Latinas it is everything about us. U.S. involvement came in to Latin America as late as 1846, as the Spanish conquistadors had taken all that they could, opening the doors for capitalist colonialization. To believe that America is post-colonialist is to still be colonized, because the goal has always been to be “more American” ever since American involment surfaced. You have to sound like them when you speak English, you have act more American, you grew up watching American movies, you learned more of America and less of your indigenous ancestors. No matter what part of Latin America you are from, somehow American customs invaded your home. Somehow you celebrated Christmas and Los Reyes Magos, yet you never knew how. That’s the point of colonialism. Someone else’s culture replaces your own. You learn the history of the oppressor and never of your own history. We always know about the conquistadors and we never learned of the Taino’s, Arawak’s, Aztec’s, Mayan’s, Inka’s, etc. You are working day in and day out to rid yourself of your Spanish accent; because that is the only way you will fit in.

            We never will fit in. We try to come to America chasing this dream of the end of our suffering, leaving the past as “Estefani” and becoming “Stephanie”. We hide ourselves, abandoning who we really are, hoping that Americanizing ourselves will add prosperity to our lives. That all of our hard work will be paid off by the promise of opportunity America sells globally. That needs to be abandoned, and we need to address the buried mirror we hide from. You are not Stephanie, you are “Estefani” and yes, your mom spelled a name not native to your land, with the accent of her conquistadors tongue, trying to accentuate the language of the next conquistador. Yes, when your mother named you she had an accent, and yes so do you.

            Allow yourself to realize just how diverse you really are. Don’t whiten yourself and try to act like you are not a product of rape and slavery. Don’t ignore your cultural past, on the contrary use your history as a lesson, for the same thing has been occurring for centuries and we have not yet decolonized. Ana Irma Rivera Lassen acknowledges our cultural diversity in Latin America as an America does telling us:

“la diversidad geopolítica nos coloca en ópticas distinctas y distantes este Carribe nuestro tiene países independientes y no independents… así como las posiciones diferente frente de las sistemas politicos de mercados de economias entre otros elementos ase neccesário  reconocer las diferencias entre países para entonces ver y acer propuestas de accioónes que nos una”

“The geopolitical diversity places us in viewpoints that are distinct and distant, our Caribbean has independent and dependent countries… just like the different positions in front of the political systems of the market and economies between other necessary elements, it is necessary to recognize the differences between countries to visualize and make proposals and actions that will unify us.”

We cannot be white American’s. We can only acknowledge our differences and find a way to be unified, but we cannot keep settling for colonialism. We cannot keep trying to be white American’s in a country that has already acknowledged that we are different, and that our differences make us less than.

            Don’t aspire to be a congresswoman in the American government, because you will have to give yourself up. Aspire to represent your people in front of the American government. Aspire to keep your culture and traditions alive, versus hiding under the skirts of assimilation and allowing mockery. You have to require to eat at the table with the American government as a Latina, as Ana Irma Rivera Lassen said: you have to notice the differences between our countries and find ways to unify, not become.

Economic Restrictions

            As I said, my biggest problem isn’t being Latina, my biggest problem is not having enough money to deal with the backlash. Being Latina isn’t a problem for me at all, but white society has a problem with it. The problems I am forced to deal with all have to do with my sexuality and colonialism but they are all enforced by my economic restrictions. These economic restrictions directly reflect how the U.S. does business with Latinos. The U.S. has a long history of Fair Trade Acts that give corporations billions of dollars in profit for natural resources and Latin American countries the right to trade. Essentially there is no business between Latin America and the U.S.

            America’s international affairs provide insight to domestic affairs. Just like America doesn’t do business with our parent countries America doesn’t do business with us. We have no economic foot hold in the American economy therefor we have no foothold in any part of the internal relations of this country, as Bell Hooks states:

“Politicians, need I say who, who evoke so called feminist concerns while continuing their overt support of dominator culture of imperial white supremacist… let us remember, patriarchy has no gender… they can work to challenge and change all the bad things that are happening to those poor women of color globally while reinforcing imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.”

 We must avoid our desperation that falls into dependent business relations on the coat tails of American corporations hoping to develop an independent entity. The business aspect is necessary however. Latina’s need to begin investing in themselves, and less in the American economy. Build your own businesses so that you can build the businesses of your own community. Acknowledge yourself in the community. Acknowledge just how much of America you really do make up, and just how much of the American economy you actually fuel. Instead, fuel your own economy. Fuel your women.

Telos

            An agency that is run by Latina’s and is funded by Latina’s is the only way to create an able body that will address these issues. We cannot wait on the feminist movement, because it is a movement, although now much more inclusive, that doesn’t face all of our issues. The feminist movement isn’t battling the intersationality of sexuality, economy, colonial affects of Latina’s today. Although many nationalities can relate on American involvement, there are not many that are being colonized today. We need to fund ourselves, the very same way the black community has funded itself throughout its continuos battle of civil rights. We need to rely soley on our own substinance, we need to move and grow solely from our own gains.

            Sexuality, and what it should be like, has been transformed to be a social matter. In reality it isn’t, your sexuality is decided upon individually. Who you are, what you dress like, how you act, it’s all personal and needs to be decriminalized. We can’t continue to mold who we are to fill the social persepctives set by our white leaders. We wouldn’t have to do that if we had our own leaders, our own women in power. We wouldn’t look to fill roles and perspective if we provided another perspective on ourselves, if we showed a little more pride and resistance against these socially restrictive sexual concepts.

            In order to create a more respectable and prideful representation of ourselves we have to decolonize our minds. We have to stop believing that the white American life trumps the life of a Latina. We have to stop fueling and believing in the American insitutions, we have to stop believing and waiting for white people to come save us from our struggle. This doesn’t mean don’t believe in the laws, or the Bill of Rights, because it is not the text that is repressive it is the people we have elected into power who have interpreted the text to their benefit. Often times we will hear, “if you don’t like it then go to school and become (fill in the blank) and change it”. Becoming a politician will not change colonialism in Latin America, because if you are a politician you are profiting off of colonialism. That is when you’ve become a representative who Bell Hooks describes as “a more insidious threat to all the progress of the feminist revolution, the appropriation and cooptation of the redirect of feminism by the dominant culture that the feminist movement is just another liberal elite lifestyle choice”. This isn’t a choice, it is the card you have been dealt with. One you can alter.

            You don’t have to believe in the colonial thoughts you have been instilled with since birth. You would have to completely abandon the upbringing you’ve had, the education you’ve had, the job you’ve had, and you’d have to educate yourself. You’d have to teach yourself the real history of your people and restore pride in your people. You would have to look at your scars, although not visible on your flesh, those that seep through in the vault of your ancestors history and realize that you have not forgotten everything that you have lost. As Rose Kennedy puts it “in time, the mind, protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissue and the pains lessens. But it’s never gone” who you are, and what you gave up to whiten yourself is never gone.

            Owning your sexuality, and decolonizing your mind are the fundamental values to freeing yourself from political grasp and belief in your politicians, in American politicians. You still need to sit at the table, because there is no place on this planet America is not involved in. There is no way female sovereignty can matter if it won’t face American politicians. We can only sit at the same table as the oil lords, gold mine owners, bank owners etc. who hold grasp on the American government, if we don’t have the same financial merit for our own public figures. Latina’s need to begin funding themselves. We cannot hope for a white woman or man to fund our political struggles, because they will never stop being in favor of white supremacy. Only we can fund our struggle so that it can achieve all that it can achieve.

            We need to provide our own safe heavens from violence and repression, because we are still waiting for someone else to come save us. The Latin American culture has had waves of invasions that we continually neglect, allowing the next invasion to enter. First it was Spain, then it was the United States. Both countries used women as objects to repress men in combat. Both times we were the casualties. Both times we were the bodies raped as a mark to the men in our countries that they were now in control. We have never been viewed as objects of power, instead we are viewed as objects to show power with. We are never the leaders, but instead we are dominated. We can’t hope to be the leaders of our objectifiers because they’ve built billion dollar industries objectifying us.

            There’s a real lesson off of the repression of women. We continually work and live according to our oppressors, when we could just work for ourselves. We could just build our own establishments, our or businesses, our own economy. There is nothing about Latina’s that says that we have to continue following the lead of a white man. There is nothing about a Latina that says we have to keep watching the very white women we helped progress, progress without us. The only thing that says all of this is believing in the criminalization of our sexuality, holding on to the colonialist ideologies that have been instilled in us, and by continuing to fund the white economy.

“When intersectionality is a given one could not assume that when simply addressing the issue of patriarchy will lead to liberation by naming the system we live in as imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy there can no longer be any resistance that gender exploitation is simply about men against women. Indeed one could easily make the case that white women’s allegiance to white supremacy is the face of the foe of feminism” –Bell hooks

Happiness in Solitude

Julianne Ferguson                                                                                                          Final Paper

Prof. Poole

How We Should Live?

12/13/14

                                                          Happiness in Solitude

     There are so many great advantages to living in solitude, but why would one choose to live alone? Out of all the different topics relating to how should we live, I felt living in solitude was perfect because it has fascinated me for years as to why someone especially right after high school graduation would decide to instead of going right into college like everyone else, decide to live in the woods alone. Questions I will discuss throughout my paper include, what is better complete solitude or to do it in moderation? Along with what are some examples of ways people can live in solitude? And, what are some advantages vs. disadvantages of being in solitude?

     One concept I find is a great advantage when in solitude is self-discovery, self-discovery being when a person is alone in serenity, they are able to just focus on themselves, allowing them to gain important insight into future goals, ambitions, strengths as well as weaknesses. When I am alone I find I can map out my life, when I am able to have that complete focus on myself. I can make lists on what I have to get done for the week, whether it is shopping, or when I am able to have enough time to give each class the same concentration. Self-discovery includes many ways one can live in society, one being to go on spiritual journeys to feel closer to God. Every religion is different, there are many reasons why one may want to feel closer to God, one may have an incurable disease and feel they need a cure from God, while some fast to have a divine experience, and others may crave a journey away from everything on a quest to find answers to finding themselves in order to live happier and more fulfilled.

     In addition, to self-discovery another important concept is inner peace. When a person is alone it is crucial to at least allow them sometime to feel relaxed, peaceful, calm, and free from the everyday pressures of life. When alone one doesn’t have to worry about other’s expectations making them feel pressure to always be better than they are, sometimes for some always striving to be the best isn’t the fairest way to live, especially if everything they do they feel isn’t good enough, so they want to get away from it all. Also being free has its own advantages, one doesn’t have to worry about work, paying the bills, living in an ever-changing society filled with expectations of others. This I feel is another great advantage with an exception, I feel it is very important to live in solitude, especially to feel that peace, but I also feel it should be noted to do this in moderation because though having quiet, and time to oneself is important it is also vital to still engage and have that social interaction.

     Nietzsche is a perfect example as someone who is for solitude in his own personal beliefs. I an article by Hermitary resources of reflections on hermits and solitude that quotes Nietzsche on his experience as to why he wanted to live in solitude, “I go into solitude so as not to drink out of everybody's cistern. When I am among the many I live as the many do, and I do not think I really think. After a time it always seems as if they want to banish myself from myself and rob me of my soul” (“Friedrich Nietzsche on Solitude”). This quote is well said to the feeling that would lead a person to living in solitude. He felt overwhelmed by other people; he felt his thoughts weren’t his because he was living among others who went through the same routine. As he states he didn’t want to drink out of the same container as them, he wanted to have his own thoughts his own life not influenced by others.

    He was also someone who emphasized being detached from others and society. This is what I mean when I say people should live in solitude in moderation; they need some balance between being around people, and being alone for a little while. This is not to say some can’t live in complete solitude and be fine around people, but there have been studies to show those who live in complete solitude usually can’t handle life around others. They need to be trained to socialize, give eye contact, things that would normally make them uncomfortable as they are not used to it in order to live a relatively normal life.

    A third concept to living in solitude, which also has its advantages is problem-solving, which is aloneness allows thinking about problems, or decisions you face, and you attempt an answer. When a person has some time to themselves, away from others they are actually able to focus, to have some clarity, and spend time thinking about something that bothers them a problem for instance. This time to think can help a person come to a resolution to that problem. From experience if something is driving me crazy and it seems impossible to solve, it isn’t until I am alone that I can focus, and solve it in a matter of seconds, and the problem doesn’t seem so terrible or as big.

     Among these advantages there are some disadvantages to living in solitude, for example, isolation is when someone is completely cut off from everything, society, people, technology, everyday necessities such as laundry, dishwashers, microwaves, etc… People that take part in being in isolation is pretty dangerous in the sense they are unable to socialize, and have to constantly worry about survival, this is one of many disadvantages. Being cut off from people for a long length of time is risky, it is bad enough that studies have shown with the advancement of technology that people are becoming more and more out of touch with others. I allow myself time to be away from others, not completely, like in the case with isolation, but in the library sense, where there is a quiet atmosphere to think. I still always allow myself to be around others, how could one not? People are very fascinating not one person is the same. Communication is also very important as it helps one another become open.

     Along with isolation and the lack of social interaction, there is another disadvantage that being lack of intimacy and trust. Once a person has been in seclusion for a long period of time, they will lose trust, with sharing aspects of life with others, for example, a person won’t be able to share their thoughts and opinions with others as they may be afraid of what others will think where they haven’t had that connection. It is important to build trust, but if you have no trust to begin with it is harder to establish, but can be worked on to create from the ground up.

     A third disadvantage of living in solitude is lack of confidence. I grew up as a very shy kid, and it wasn’t until I joined the drama club, that it allowed me to be more comfortable with and around others, as well as not being so afraid to speak up in class. Living in solitude can lower one’s confidence where they can feel insecure, and unable to speak up. There was a point in school when I was so afraid to ask for help that I thought I was going to fail, so I realized it’s now or never, I have to learn how to speak up, and be more confident, or I was going to fail. So people in solitude have that chance to learn confidence, everyone has it in them they just need to open it up. Confidence is also extremely important in the work place, a person needs to take leadership and do things themselves, without always feeling they need to check in with others.

      In addition, to self-discovery as a way people try to feel closer to God through a divine spiritual journey. Another way people can live in solitude is in the woods with inner peace, as Henry David Thoreau describes in Walden, about his journey to finding his perfect home. No one place he lived in seemed right until Walden Pond. He writes with such beautiful imagery “Some of my pleasantest hours were during the long rain-storms in the spring or fall, which confined me to the house for the afternoon as well as the forenoon, soothed by their ceaseless roar and pelting; when an early twilight ushered in a long evening in which many thoughts had time to take root and unfold themselves” (“Walden”, chapter 5). He describes how being in his house during a storm on a quiet evening allowed him to have deep thoughts and ideas. Living in the woods, among nature is one way to live in solitude.

     "In the morning - solitude;" said Pythagoras; that Nature may speak to the imagination, as she does never in company, and that her favorite may take acquaintance with those divine strengths which disclose themselves to serious and abstracted thought” (Pythagoras). I love this quote; I chose it as it relates to the beauty of nature that with an open, clear mind you can be expressive in taking in the beauty around you. 

      I personally live in solitude when I need to study for a test, I’ll go to my room, or the library to have that quiet atmosphere with no distractions. To be in a quiet area allows me to attain the information I am studying to give me complete focus to remember the information. Some people have different methods of studying one involving listening to music, watching TV, or even studying at a coffee shop. For me it’s to be at home when everyone else has left to give myself that concentration and focus to do well, and get things done.

      Another way of living in solitude is through group, I discovered something I found very interesting, it is a group of women who get together to unwind, and discuss whatever struggles they may be going through amongst each other. It is a society called Women of Solitude; these women are from Judaism, Christianity, all kinds of religions. They all have something in common they want to gain wisdom, peace, along with understanding; they quote the gospel Mathew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…” (“Women of Solitude”). As well as Jude 1:2 “Mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you”, and Psalm 100:4. They are about sticking together to overcome their struggles, in order to be better, stronger women.  In this case, solitude means to them to have one another to discuss their problems in order to overcome them.

      As I previously mentioned about self-discovery how people would go into solitude as a means of feeling closer to God, by means in some cases fasting. In addition, to fasting, the Native Americans take part in fasting as one of many steps of their vision quest. The steps are as follows, when a boy came of age fourteen or fifteen he began his journey of a vision quest, he entered a sweat lodge for a cleansing ceremony and Smudging Ritual. “In the lodge the stones were heated and water was poured on them to create the steam that would purify the boy, the boy would than bathe in cold water and was led into the forest or woods, where he would spend three days in isolation and fasting” (Native American Encyclopedia”). During these three days he would then have his vision, at the end of his quest he was collected by tribe members and taken to the Shaman, where he was considered a man and the Shaman would express the message of his vision to others. Along with those who want to feel closer to God, there are those who seek visions in a quiet, serene forest.

     Being part Native American can’t say that I have had a vision quest, but I do see the appeal of wanting something more, some go to psychics to hear a reading about their future, when Native American boys sought the meaning of their life through visions. The only downside I have about going on a vision quest would be the fasting, as it seems unhealthy to drift off into the woods to starve for three days, but it does hold benefits for some who do it, and believe in it. Most do it for their religion, to see, feel, or talk to God. Fasting is a religious practice for example, as with Muslims in the month of Ramadan. Fasting in solitude is one of many ways one can live in solitude.  

    Meditation is among some favorites to lead a person into solitude because it gives peace, serenity, calmness, and clarity, for the mind and the body. The Zen Buddhist have practiced meditation for centuries, they use Kung Fu as a form of meditation, and Tai Chi. They harness their chi through a method of deep breathing, which is a powerful technique to allow the mind and body to become a stronger self. Bruce Lee was someone who was a fan of both Daoism and Confucian beliefs, as he could punch someone without hurting himself because of his Tai Chi breathing and inner strength ability.   

    I have taken two Tai Chi classes, which was a very fun and fulfilling experience you instantly feel free, and calm. Tai Chi is a slow movement form; with every move as Bruce Lee quoted “flow like water” you move as one unit, it is both beautiful and exhilarating. Meditation also includes yoga, which is both a religious practice, and exercise. As a religious practice you sit in a pretzel formation, legs crossed one over the other, and arms displayed outward over knees, this allows the mind to be open and expressive to allow yourself time to think. People in India also practice yoga, among other people in a Temple, in a nice quiet place of worship. Solitude doesn’t have to mean being alone as with the group of women, being in solitude could mean to allow yourself to think, and allow your mind to open to new ideas and thoughts among others.

    There are thirty- seven paths of the bodhisattva in Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who can attain Nirvana, but delays doing so out of compassion of others suffering. The first practice is “the possession of this human base, this precious vessel so difficult to obtain, in order to liberate others and ourselves from the ocean of samsara, allows us to hear, reflect, and meditate day and night without distractions” (Thirty seven practices of the bodhisattva). This person also needs to have a quiet place away from others in order to feel cam and peaceful, as a means of focus in regards to meditation. The second practice is to surround oneself with those of friends and family, and averse away from those who are enemies. “The third practice is to live in solitude is an important practice as it shows the clarity of a person’s mind who has abandoned all distractions, and the growth of trust in the dharma. To renounce all attachment of this life is a fourth practice; to abandon people who cause pain is a fifth practice” (Thirty seven practices of the bodhisattva). Sixth practice is to rely on a spiritual friend and embrace this person is another practice, to allow you to only be surrounded by those with love and care are a practice, and eliminating those who are “poisonous” in our lives is something we need to learn to do, to obtain happiness and peace.  

    To be in solitude means to give you a sense of yourself you initially lose when around others in an always moving society so “when a man knows the solitude of silence, and feels the joy of quietness, he is then free from fear and he feels the joy of the dharma” (Buddha). – Buddha. As he puts it a man is then free from the everyday pressures of life, people, and worries, they are able to be free and relaxed.  

    Another person who fast while traveling into solitude was Jesus Christ, in the Gospel Luke 4: 1-13 is about how he was led into the wilderness by a Spirit, where for forty nights he was tempted by the devil, the devil kept persuading him to worship him. Jesus replied as said in the Bible “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only” (Luke 4:1-13, Bible). Luke 4:42-44 Jesus went to a lonely place, where the people tried to find him and convince him to come back home. In Luke 5:16 it states that he would distance himself from others to a dessert to pray in isolation. Luke 6:12-16  states Jesus spent the whole night in prayer away from others in solitude this gave him the chance to speak to God, and feel closer to him, without any distractions. He would also pray alone on Mount Olives as said in Luke 21:34-38, and in Luke 22:39-46. Jesus Christ was someone who was a spiritual person who sought comfort in solitude in order to be in peace to pray to God.

    Living in solitude means something different to everyone, to me solitude simply means to live by oneself in a quiet place with no one, or scarce amount of people around in order to allow you that time, concentration, and focus. Through my list of all different ways one can live, and has lived in solitude shows that there is no one way to live in solitude. Solitude can mean being around people, or around a small amount of people, just as well as it can mean to live in complete solitude versus in moderation. Solitude can also be a means for creative expression, I know from my days in art class it was always hard to be creative when the teachers were so specific on what they wanted. It was sometimes difficult to give them what they wanted under pressure.

    I have always found drawing, painting, and doing school art projects were done so much better to my ability when I could do them at home, where I could have a quiet place to think, and unleash my creativity. When you are alone away from everyone’s expectations you can think about things you normally would be too afraid to think, or say afraid of judgment, or criticisms. When I had a lack of confidence, being afraid of asking questions especially during class, I was also afraid of the criticisms of my other classmates. When you also have that alone time to express your thoughts and ideas that can allow you to be more used to expressing, which I found to be very helpful applying to schools to encourage myself to be more outgoing, and expressive.

    There have been so many talented artists, whether in the film industry, science, art, music, etc… those who have been shown to be slightly socially awkward have proven their immense talent over and over again, “from Picasso to Kafka, and Tim Burton to John Cleese, solitude has been found to not only provide the impetus for unique and profound expressions of art, but has provided the creative independence needed to perfect talents and skills” (Loner Wolf, Introvert Quotes On Creativity). We can see their talent on the big screens as well as through every painting and song. Their talent is real they just needed space, quiet, no distractions to unleash that talent. Also they are able to focus on themselves, some even have said to be alone forces you to deal with your demons, so in some cases as with artists they reflect on that pain and hurt, while others who don’t go into solitude never really deal with their hurt, and pain. Solitude was the answer to their creativity.

    Those who also live a life in solitude are those who are nuns. Ever since I was little and saw the Sound of Music for the first time, I thought who would want to be a nun? If it meant you couldn’t fall in love and explore the world. Then I saw Doubt, and was blown away by the director’s take through screen shots, displaying in one scene how nuns among each other would sit in silence when having dinner, while the priests would eat in laughter and excitement. Nuns live in solitude because according to Passionists Nuns St. Joseph Monastery and Guest Home’s website Solitude Retreats it states “in order to insure the possibility of a “monastic” experience for our guests, all our retreats are in “silent” retreats, where one may speak only in specified areas of the retreat house” (Solitude Retreats).  This is so the nuns can have complete focus to worship God, in prayer, with having time to them to speak only to him in a nice quiet area, where they have only their thoughts.

          Among the nuns who choose to live in solitude out of respect for their God, the Amish are also people who have a different take on living in solitude. The Amish also out of their religion choose to live in a quiet, desolate farmland atmosphere. They frown upon technology, photos, microwaves, televisions, dishwashers, etc… and choose to live a much simpler life without the advancements of our society. What we all take for granted they take in strive, they are filled with everyday simple pleasures of life, taking in the sun each morning, watching the sunrise and sun set each and every day. They wash their clothes by hand, churn their own butter and make their own food; everything is very fresh with no preservatives, where everything they need is at their grasp. They work harder than anyone doing everything by hand.

     I have watched a few Amish films over the years; my favorites are the ones that appear truest to their way of life, one being Amish Grace the true story behind a school shooting, which portrays a family who has to decide whether to go against their religion, that always says to forgive those who cause us harm. It becomes increasingly difficult for one woman to forgive when her oldest daughter dies in the shooting. In the film it showed how they live, it showed them traveling by horse and buggy, making their food by hand, always attending church on Sundays to pray, they always pray every night blessing their food before them.

     One aspect I found interesting was when the children who have been baptized turn 16 they go on “rum springer” also known as “running around”, which is that the adolescent Amish explore a sinful experience, and they have until age 18-22 to choose their own path in life, which is whether or not to live within their same religion, and community. If a child is not baptized I believe it means if they go on “rums springer” they are shunned from their community, and not allowed to contact them or their community. The solitude aspect of their life is that they are not allowed to socialize with others outside of their surroundings. They are only given permission to do what is expected of them by their leaders of the church and their religion. By giving up advancements of society they are able to be content with nature, farmland, and those around them, they do not take life for granted they appear happy with what they have, anything they need they make, or buy from in town.

     This next section relates to why being alone “despite its prevalence, living alone is one of the least discussed and, consequently, most poorly understood issues of our time” (Popova, “Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips on Our Capacity for “Fertile Solitude”).  An article “Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips on Our Capacity for “Fertile Solitude” by Maria Popova helps answer this by providing examples of past history where they used solitude as a form of punishment through exile, and in Greek tragedies they looked at solitude “as a fate worse than death” (Popova). Solitude was considered to be very misunderstood due to being associated with punishment, since then generations have given solitude new meaning. Some can now see the great benefits being in solitude holds.

     Klinenberg lists a few of these benefits or factors that have transformed social experience of living alone they are as follows, “(1) the wealth generated by economic growth and the social security provided by the modern welfare state- one reason why some people live alone is because they can afford to do so, (2) the communications revolution- which gives people who want to live alone the chance to stay connected to people. (3) Mass urbanization- “Subcultures thrive in cities, which tend to attract nonconformists who are able to find others like themselves in the dense variety of urban life.”(Klinenberg, “Going Solo: A Brief History of Living Alone and the Enduring Social Stigma around Singletons). The last and fourth factor is (4) increased longevity “Because people are living longer than ever before — or, more specifically, because women often outlive their spouses by decades rather than years — aging alone has become an increasingly common experience.”(Popova, “Going Solo: A Brief History of Living Alone and the Enduring Social Stigma around Singletons) These are some factors that have been shown to be great advantages to living in solitude; no one knows for sure where living in solitude stands for the next generations. Those who have lived in solitude their whole lives may continue to do so, while others may never give it a chance where people have relied heavenly on internet connection.

    With constant internet advancements people have become so dependent on technology, especially having technology doing everything for you. People are becoming more and more out of touch with one another. People need to spend more time away from their phones, TV, laptops, etc… and just take some time to breathe, and look around them to see how much this world has to offer. It is a really beautiful place, and if people take the time to look, and appreciate it they probably wouldn’t be so overworked and out of touch, not to mention people taking a break from reality for a little while would make this society a calmer, more relaxed place to be, living longer lives.

     Referring back to my initial question why would someone decide to go live in solitude? A man who chose to go on a journey of solitude after high school graduation Christopher McCandless who was a bright man who had his whole life ahead of him chose to live in the wild. His story was so moving and compelling a book was written, and a film was created about his journey. The book and film were made based on his journal entries hunters came across in a Fairbanks City bus on the Stampede Trail in Alaska, where they also found his body 19 days after he had died; he had died from starvation and possibly poisoning from fungus on some fruit he had eaten. He gave the remaining 24000 from his education to Oxfam on May 15^th, 1990, changed his name and began his journey into the wild.

     He traveled through various states of America in his car until he had to leave it behind when it got caught in a flash flood. He had no map, agenda, or a destination, just the will to travel (Christopher McCandless Bio). The people he met along the way were generous providing him with supplies for his journey, and giving him odd job opportunities to keep him busy.  He chose to live in solitude because despite having enough money to further his education, and a good life with friends, he wanted to get away from it all, the pressures of society, to finish school just to go to college, get a degree, to work until he died, he wanted to explore, to be among the beauty of nature, and to do what no one expected him to do to surprise his family, friends and the world.

    My curiosity into the topic of solitude began when I was a junior in high school, and my English teacher showed us “Into the Wild” the film based on his life, and journey into solitude. It wasn’t easy we watched his struggles to stay alive, his ambitions that no matter what he were dead set on going on his journey. His last words were written on a sign he wrote taken with the last picture of him in front of his bus he wrote: “I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD, GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!” (Christopher McCandless bio). His passion and life has been so touching, and a source of inspiration to me not in the sense to travel alone into solitude, but to always remember to take a moment to relax and feel free, to never lose sight of what is important right in front of you he stayed positive loving life, even in his last days.  

     What is solitude?  Solitude is a place of serenity, peace and quiet to have time to relax to think about things, come up with creative ideas, write a book, write a song, and unleash all sorts of inspiration by just allowing one to be free to express. Advantages to solitude are self- discovery being time to get to know oneself, to have their own thoughts running through their mind, and to have time, peace and quiet to come up with future goals and plans. Solitude also has the advantage of inner peace just to have time to feel calm, happy, relaxed, and to take a long deep breathe to allow complete focus to get things accomplished yoga, meditation, and shopping lists. I for one love to make a list by hand because the feeling of accomplishing something feels great, to cross one thing off the list one thing at a time makes me feel like I’m getting things done. The third advantage is problem- solving because to be alone allows deep thinking, deep thinking allows time to think things through in hopes of coming up with an answer.

     Disadvantages to living in solitude are being isolated from everything, people, technology, simple everyday pleasures like dishwashers, microwaves, etc… When people are isolated from the world they forget how to live with and around others, they become distant, awkward, can’t give eye contact, and have trouble trusting and communicating with others. Communication is very important to live in a society that is growing dependent on technology doing everything for them. People need to keep communicating if they want to be able to trust and have relationships with one another. To be in a successful trust worthy relationship they need to be able to share their life with each other, they can’t do that if they have trust issues being away from society.

     A second disadvantage to living in solitude is lack of confidence, which means a person is unable to be comfortable with themselves and around others. Confidence is key to living life as a leader, taking a stand to stand out in the world, and to be different. In the workplace no matter the profession everything needs individuality. People need to take leadership, to show they can handle and take things into their own hands. When applying to colleges if you do not stand out as someone who is unique they will pick someone else they feel is more open. I want to be a college professor, when I was in middle school I thought about teaching 8^{th grade}, every year my dreams get bigger, now I want to seriously teach college level, my dreams only get bigger because I am more and more willing to advance myself, to challenging myself to being the best I can be, confidence is a huge part of that.

      There are many different ways to live in solitude whether it is being alone in the woods in a house, or traveling through the wilderness to find joy, and peace. Solitude could be among a group of women trying to release their stress and worries, a vision quest to find the hidden meaning to one’s life, or to see, and feel closer to God through means of fasting, meditation, and or yoga. Solitude could also be among a nunnery as well as in Amish country, both live in silence with nuns it’s in prayer, with Amish it is with the outside world. Solitude fills some of the most talented people we know today with immense creativity in writing, painting, drawing, directing, acting, singing and etc…If it weren’t for living in solitude these people never would have been inspired, or known, and never would have changed the world as we all know it.

     People are all different we all live in an ever-changing, fast, always moving society where our main logo says “America Runs on Dunkins” because of this we all forget to take a moment to be expressive, relaxed, and at peace with our thoughts, goals, and ideas. Sometimes we need to take a break from society and look at the trees moving in sync with the wind, see the water glisten in the river flowing with smooth waves back and forth, listen to the sounds of the ocean and birds chirping just too finally feel our hearts beat at a steady rhythm.     

    

                                                 The End