Julianne Ferguson
Final Paper
Prof. Poole
How We Should Live?
12/13/14
Happiness
in Solitude
There are so many great advantages to
living in solitude, but why would one choose to live alone? Out of all the
different topics relating to how should we live, I felt living in solitude was
perfect because it has fascinated me for years as to why someone especially
right after high school graduation would decide to instead of going right into
college like everyone else, decide to live in the woods alone. Questions I will
discuss throughout my paper include, what is better complete solitude or to do
it in moderation? Along with what are some examples of ways people can live in
solitude? And, what are some advantages vs. disadvantages of being in solitude?
One concept I find is a great advantage
when in solitude is self-discovery, self-discovery being when a person is alone
in serenity, they are able to just focus on themselves, allowing them to gain
important insight into future goals, ambitions, strengths as well as
weaknesses. When I am alone I find I can map out my life, when I am able to
have that complete focus on myself. I can make lists on what I have to get done
for the week, whether it is shopping, or when I am able to have enough time to
give each class the same concentration. Self-discovery includes many ways one
can live in society, one being to go on spiritual journeys to feel closer to
God. Every religion is different, there are many reasons why one may want to
feel closer to God, one may have an incurable disease and feel they need a cure
from God, while some fast to have a divine experience, and others may crave a
journey away from everything on a quest to find answers to finding themselves
in order to live happier and more fulfilled.
In addition, to self-discovery another
important concept is inner peace. When a person is alone it is crucial to at
least allow them sometime to feel relaxed, peaceful, calm, and free from the
everyday pressures of life. When alone one doesn’t have to worry about other’s
expectations making them feel pressure to always be better than they are,
sometimes for some always striving to be the best isn’t the fairest way to
live, especially if everything they do they feel isn’t good enough, so they
want to get away from it all. Also being free has its own advantages, one
doesn’t have to worry about work, paying the bills, living in an ever-changing
society filled with expectations of others. This I feel is another great
advantage with an exception, I feel it is very important to live in solitude,
especially to feel that peace, but I also feel it should be noted to do this in
moderation because though having quiet, and time to oneself is important it is
also vital to still engage and have that social interaction.
Nietzsche is a perfect example as someone
who is for solitude in his own personal beliefs. I an article by Hermitary
resources of reflections on hermits and solitude that quotes Nietzsche on his
experience as to why he wanted to live in solitude, “I go into solitude so as
not to drink out of everybody's cistern. When I am among the many I live as the
many do, and I do not think I really think. After a time it always seems as if
they want to banish myself from myself and rob me of my soul” (“Friedrich
Nietzsche on Solitude”). This quote is well said to the feeling
that would lead a person to living in solitude. He felt overwhelmed by other
people; he felt his thoughts weren’t his because he was living among others who
went through the same routine. As he states he didn’t want to drink out of the
same container as them, he wanted to have his own thoughts his own life not
influenced by others.
He was also someone who emphasized being
detached from others and society. This is what I mean when I say people should
live in solitude in moderation; they need some balance between being around
people, and being alone for a little while. This is not to say some can’t live
in complete solitude and be fine around people, but there have been studies to
show those who live in complete solitude usually can’t handle life around
others. They need to be trained to socialize, give eye contact, things that
would normally make them uncomfortable as they are not used to it in order to
live a relatively normal life.
A third concept to living in solitude,
which also has its advantages is problem-solving, which is aloneness allows
thinking about problems, or decisions you face, and you attempt an answer. When
a person has some time to themselves, away from others they are actually able
to focus, to have some clarity, and spend time thinking about something that
bothers them a problem for instance. This time to think can help a person come
to a resolution to that problem. From experience if something is driving me
crazy and it seems impossible to solve, it isn’t until I am alone that I can
focus, and solve it in a matter of seconds, and the problem doesn’t seem so
terrible or as big.
Among these advantages there are some
disadvantages to living in solitude, for example, isolation is when someone is
completely cut off from everything, society, people, technology, everyday
necessities such as laundry, dishwashers, microwaves, etc… People that take
part in being in isolation is pretty dangerous in the sense they are unable to
socialize, and have to constantly worry about survival, this is one of many
disadvantages. Being cut off from people for a long length of time is risky, it
is bad enough that studies have shown with the advancement of technology that
people are becoming more and more out of touch with others. I allow myself time
to be away from others, not completely, like in the case with isolation, but in
the library sense, where there is a quiet atmosphere to think. I still always
allow myself to be around others, how could one not? People are very
fascinating not one person is the same. Communication is also very important as
it helps one another become open.
Along
with isolation and the lack of social interaction, there is another
disadvantage that being lack of intimacy and trust. Once a person has been in
seclusion for a long period of time, they will lose trust, with sharing aspects
of life with others, for example, a person won’t be able to share their
thoughts and opinions with others as they may be afraid of what others will
think where they haven’t had that connection. It is important to build trust,
but if you have no trust to begin with it is harder to establish, but can be
worked on to create from the ground up.
A third disadvantage of living in solitude
is lack of confidence. I grew up as a very shy kid, and it wasn’t until I
joined the drama club, that it allowed me to be more comfortable with and
around others, as well as not being so afraid to speak up in class. Living in
solitude can lower one’s confidence where they can feel insecure, and unable to
speak up. There was a point in school when I was so afraid to ask for help that
I thought I was going to fail, so I realized it’s now or never, I have to learn
how to speak up, and be more confident, or I was going to fail. So people in
solitude have that chance to learn confidence, everyone has it in them they
just need to open it up. Confidence is also extremely important in the work
place, a person needs to take leadership and do things themselves, without
always feeling they need to check in with others.
In addition, to self-discovery as a way
people try to feel closer to God through a divine spiritual journey. Another
way people can live in solitude is in the woods with inner peace, as Henry
David Thoreau describes in Walden, about his journey to finding his perfect
home. No one place he lived in seemed right until Walden Pond. He writes with
such beautiful imagery “Some of my pleasantest hours were during the long
rain-storms in the spring or fall, which confined me to the house for the
afternoon as well as the forenoon, soothed by their ceaseless roar and pelting;
when an early twilight ushered in a long evening in which many thoughts had
time to take root and unfold themselves” (“Walden”, chapter 5). He describes how
being in his house during a storm on a quiet evening allowed him to have deep
thoughts and ideas. Living in the woods, among nature is one way to live in
solitude.
"In the morning -
solitude;" said Pythagoras; that Nature may speak to the imagination, as
she does never in company, and that her favorite may take acquaintance with
those divine strengths which disclose themselves to serious and abstracted
thought” (Pythagoras). I love this quote; I chose it as it relates to the
beauty of nature that with an open, clear mind you can be expressive in taking
in the beauty around you.
I
personally live in solitude when I need to study for a test, I’ll go to my room,
or the library to have that quiet atmosphere with no distractions. To be in a
quiet area allows me to attain the information I am studying to give me
complete focus to remember the information. Some people have different methods
of studying one involving listening to music, watching TV, or even studying at
a coffee shop. For me it’s to be at home when everyone else has left to give
myself that concentration and focus to do well, and get things done.
Another
way of living in solitude is through group, I discovered something I found very
interesting, it is a group of women who get together to unwind, and discuss
whatever struggles they may be going through amongst each other. It is a
society called Women of Solitude; these women are from Judaism, Christianity,
all kinds of religions. They all have something in common they want to gain
wisdom, peace, along with understanding; they quote the gospel Mathew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…”
(“Women of Solitude”). As well as Jude 1:2 “Mercy, peace, and love be
multiplied to you”, and Psalm 100:4. They are about sticking together to
overcome their struggles, in order to be better, stronger women. In this case, solitude means to them to have
one another to discuss their problems in order to overcome them.
As
I previously mentioned about self-discovery how people would go into solitude
as a means of feeling closer to God, by means in some cases fasting. In
addition, to fasting, the Native Americans take part in fasting as one of many
steps of their vision quest. The steps are as follows, when a boy came of age
fourteen or fifteen he began his journey of a vision quest, he entered a sweat
lodge for a cleansing ceremony and Smudging Ritual. “In the lodge the stones
were heated and water was poured on them to create the steam that would purify
the boy, the boy would than bathe in cold water and was led into the forest or
woods, where he would spend three days in isolation and fasting” (Native
American Encyclopedia”). During these three days he would then have his vision,
at the end of his quest he was collected by tribe members and taken to the
Shaman, where he was considered a man and the Shaman would express the message
of his vision to others. Along with those who want to feel closer to God, there
are those who seek visions in a quiet, serene forest.
Being
part Native American can’t say that I have had a vision quest, but I do see the
appeal of wanting something more, some go to psychics to hear a reading about
their future, when Native American boys sought the meaning of their life
through visions. The only downside I have about going on a vision quest would
be the fasting, as it seems unhealthy to drift off into the woods to starve for
three days, but it does hold benefits for some who do it, and believe in it. Most
do it for their religion, to see, feel, or talk to God. Fasting is a religious
practice for example, as with Muslims in the month of Ramadan. Fasting in
solitude is one of many ways one can live in solitude.
Meditation is among some favorites to lead a
person into solitude because it gives peace, serenity, calmness, and clarity,
for the mind and the body. The Zen Buddhist have practiced meditation for
centuries, they use Kung Fu as a form of meditation, and Tai Chi. They harness
their chi through a method of deep breathing, which is a powerful technique to
allow the mind and body to become a stronger self. Bruce Lee was someone who
was a fan of both Daoism and Confucian beliefs, as he could punch someone
without hurting himself because of his Tai Chi breathing and inner strength
ability.
I have taken two Tai Chi classes, which was
a very fun and fulfilling experience you instantly feel free, and calm. Tai Chi
is a slow movement form; with every move as Bruce Lee quoted “flow like water”
you move as one unit, it is both beautiful and exhilarating. Meditation also
includes yoga, which is both a religious practice, and exercise. As a religious
practice you sit in a pretzel formation, legs crossed one over the other, and
arms displayed outward over knees, this allows the mind to be open and
expressive to allow yourself time to think. People in India also practice yoga,
among other people in a Temple, in a nice quiet place of worship. Solitude doesn’t
have to mean being alone as with the group of women, being in solitude could
mean to allow yourself to think, and allow your mind to open to new ideas and
thoughts among others.
There are thirty- seven paths of the
bodhisattva in Buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who can attain Nirvana, but
delays doing so out of compassion of others suffering. The first practice is
“the possession of this human base, this precious vessel so difficult to
obtain, in order to liberate others and ourselves from the ocean of samsara,
allows us to hear, reflect, and meditate day and night without distractions” (Thirty
seven practices of the bodhisattva). This person also needs to have a quiet
place away from others in order to feel cam and peaceful, as a means of focus
in regards to meditation. The second practice is to surround oneself with those
of friends and family, and averse away from those who are enemies. “The third
practice is to live in solitude is an important practice as it shows the
clarity of a person’s mind who has abandoned all distractions, and the growth
of trust in the dharma. To renounce all attachment of this life is a fourth
practice; to abandon people who cause pain is a fifth practice” (Thirty seven
practices of the bodhisattva). Sixth practice is to rely on a spiritual friend
and embrace this person is another practice, to allow you to only be surrounded
by those with love and care are a practice, and eliminating those who are
“poisonous” in our lives is something we need to learn to do, to obtain
happiness and peace.
To be
in solitude means to give you a sense of yourself you initially lose when
around others in an always moving society so “when a man knows the solitude of silence, and
feels the joy of quietness, he is then free from fear and he feels the joy of
the dharma” (Buddha). – Buddha. As he puts it a man is then free from the
everyday pressures of life, people, and worries, they are able to be free and
relaxed.
Another person who fast while traveling
into solitude was Jesus Christ, in the Gospel Luke 4: 1-13 is about how he was
led into the wilderness by a Spirit, where for forty nights he was tempted by
the devil, the devil kept persuading him to worship him. Jesus replied as said
in the Bible “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and
serve him only” (Luke 4:1-13, Bible). Luke 4:42-44 Jesus went to a lonely place, where the people
tried to find him and convince him to come back home. In Luke 5:16 it states
that he would distance himself from others to a dessert to pray in isolation.
Luke 6:12-16 states Jesus spent the
whole night in prayer away from others in solitude this gave him the chance to
speak to God, and feel closer to him, without any distractions. He would also
pray alone on Mount Olives as said in Luke 21:34-38, and in Luke 22:39-46.
Jesus Christ was someone who was a spiritual person who sought comfort in
solitude in order to be in peace to pray to God.
Living in solitude means something
different to everyone, to me solitude simply means to live by oneself in a
quiet place with no one, or scarce amount of people around in order to allow
you that time, concentration, and focus. Through my list of all different ways
one can live, and has lived in solitude shows that there is no one way to live
in solitude. Solitude can mean being around people, or around a small amount of
people, just as well as it can mean to live in complete solitude versus in
moderation. Solitude can also be a means for creative expression, I know from
my days in art class it was always hard to be creative when the teachers were
so specific on what they wanted. It was sometimes difficult to give them what
they wanted under pressure.
I have always found drawing, painting, and
doing school art projects were done so much better to my ability when I could
do them at home, where I could have a quiet place to think, and unleash my
creativity. When you are alone away from everyone’s expectations you can think
about things you normally would be too afraid to think, or say afraid of
judgment, or criticisms. When I had a lack of confidence, being afraid of
asking questions especially during class, I was also afraid of the criticisms
of my other classmates. When you also have that alone time to express your
thoughts and ideas that can allow you to be more used to expressing, which I
found to be very helpful applying to schools to encourage myself to be more
outgoing, and expressive.
There have been so many talented artists,
whether in the film industry, science, art, music, etc… those who have been
shown to be slightly socially awkward have proven their immense talent over and
over again, “from Picasso to Kafka, and Tim
Burton to John Cleese, solitude has been found to not only provide the impetus
for unique and profound expressions of art, but has provided the creative
independence needed to perfect talents and skills” (Loner Wolf, Introvert
Quotes On Creativity). We can see their talent on the big screens as well as
through every painting and song. Their talent is real they just needed space,
quiet, no distractions to unleash that talent. Also they are able to focus on
themselves, some even have said to be alone forces you to deal with your
demons, so in some cases as with artists they reflect on that pain and hurt,
while others who don’t go into solitude never really deal with their hurt, and
pain. Solitude was the answer to their creativity.
Those who also live a life in solitude are
those who are nuns. Ever since I was little and saw the Sound of Music for the
first time, I thought who would want to be a nun? If it meant you couldn’t fall
in love and explore the world. Then I saw Doubt, and was blown away by the
director’s take through screen shots, displaying in one scene how nuns among
each other would sit in silence when having dinner, while the priests would eat
in laughter and excitement. Nuns live in solitude because according to
Passionists Nuns St. Joseph Monastery and Guest Home’s website Solitude
Retreats it states “in order to insure the possibility of a “monastic”
experience for our guests, all our retreats are in “silent” retreats, where one
may speak only in specified areas of the retreat house” (Solitude Retreats). This is so the nuns can have complete focus to
worship God, in prayer, with having time to them to speak only to him in a nice
quiet area, where they have only their thoughts.
Among the nuns who choose to live in
solitude out of respect for their God, the Amish are also people who have a
different take on living in solitude. The Amish also out of their religion
choose to live in a quiet, desolate farmland atmosphere. They frown upon
technology, photos, microwaves, televisions, dishwashers, etc… and choose to
live a much simpler life without the advancements of our society. What we all
take for granted they take in strive, they are filled with everyday simple
pleasures of life, taking in the sun each morning, watching the sunrise and sun
set each and every day. They wash their clothes by hand, churn their own butter
and make their own food; everything is very fresh with no preservatives, where
everything they need is at their grasp. They work harder than anyone doing
everything by hand.
I have watched a few Amish films over the
years; my favorites are the ones that appear truest to their way of life, one
being Amish Grace the true story behind a school shooting, which portrays a
family who has to decide whether to go against their religion, that always says
to forgive those who cause us harm. It becomes increasingly difficult for one
woman to forgive when her oldest daughter dies in the shooting. In the film it
showed how they live, it showed them traveling by horse and buggy, making their
food by hand, always attending church on Sundays to pray, they always pray
every night blessing their food before them.
One aspect I found interesting was when
the children who have been baptized turn 16 they go on “rum springer” also
known as “running around”, which is that the adolescent Amish explore a sinful
experience, and they have until age 18-22 to choose their own path in life,
which is whether or not to live within their same religion, and community. If a
child is not baptized I believe it means if they go on “rums springer” they are
shunned from their community, and not allowed to contact them or their
community. The solitude aspect of their life is that they are not allowed to
socialize with others outside of their surroundings. They are only given
permission to do what is expected of them by their leaders of the church and
their religion. By giving up advancements of society they are able to be
content with nature, farmland, and those around them, they do not take life for
granted they appear happy with what they have, anything they need they make, or
buy from in town.
This
next section relates to why being alone “despite its prevalence, living
alone is one of the least discussed and, consequently, most poorly understood
issues of our time” (Popova, “Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips on Our Capacity for
“Fertile Solitude”). An article
“Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips on Our Capacity for “Fertile Solitude” by Maria
Popova helps answer this by providing examples of past history where they used
solitude as a form of punishment through exile, and in Greek tragedies they
looked at solitude “as a fate worse than death” (Popova). Solitude was
considered to be very misunderstood due to being associated with punishment,
since then generations have given solitude new meaning. Some can now see the
great benefits being in solitude holds.
Klinenberg
lists a few of these benefits or factors that have transformed social
experience of living alone they are as follows, “(1)
the wealth generated by economic growth and the social security provided by the
modern welfare state- one reason why some people live alone is because
they can afford to do so, (2) the communications revolution- which gives people
who want to live alone the chance to stay connected to people. (3) Mass
urbanization- “Subcultures thrive in cities, which tend to
attract nonconformists who are able to find others like themselves in the dense
variety of urban life.”(Klinenberg, “Going Solo: A Brief History of Living Alone
and the Enduring Social Stigma around Singletons). The last and fourth factor
is (4) increased longevity
“Because people are living longer than ever before — or, more specifically,
because women often outlive their spouses by decades rather than years — aging
alone has become an increasingly common experience.”(Popova, “Going
Solo: A Brief History of Living Alone and the Enduring Social Stigma around
Singletons) These are some factors that have been shown to be great advantages
to living in solitude; no one knows for sure where living in solitude stands
for the next generations. Those who have lived in solitude their whole lives
may continue to do so, while others may never give it a chance where people
have relied heavenly on internet connection.
With constant
internet advancements people have become so dependent on technology, especially
having technology doing everything for you. People are becoming more and more
out of touch with one another. People need to spend more time away from their
phones, TV, laptops, etc… and just take some time to breathe, and look around
them to see how much this world has to offer. It is a really beautiful place,
and if people take the time to look, and appreciate it they probably wouldn’t
be so overworked and out of touch, not to mention people taking a break from
reality for a little while would make this society a calmer, more relaxed place
to be, living longer lives.
Referring back to my initial question why
would someone decide to go live in solitude? A man who chose to go on a journey
of solitude after high school graduation Christopher McCandless who was a
bright man who had his whole life ahead of him chose to live in the wild. His
story was so moving and compelling a book was written, and a film was created
about his journey. The book and film were made based on his journal entries hunters
came across in a Fairbanks City bus on the Stampede Trail in Alaska, where they
also found his body 19 days after he had died; he had died from starvation and
possibly poisoning from fungus on some fruit he had eaten. He gave the remaining
24000 from his education to Oxfam on May 15th, 1990, changed his
name and began his journey into the wild.
He traveled
through various states of America in his car until he had to leave it behind
when it got caught in a flash flood. He had no map, agenda, or a destination,
just the will to travel (Christopher McCandless Bio). The people he met along
the way were generous providing him with supplies for his journey, and giving
him odd job opportunities to keep him busy. He chose to live in solitude because despite
having enough money to further his education, and a good life with friends, he
wanted to get away from it all, the pressures of society, to finish school just
to go to college, get a degree, to work until he died, he wanted to explore, to
be among the beauty of nature, and to do what no one expected him to do to
surprise his family, friends and the world.
My curiosity into
the topic of solitude began when I was a junior in high school, and my English
teacher showed us “Into the Wild” the film based on his life, and journey into
solitude. It wasn’t easy we watched his struggles to stay alive, his ambitions
that no matter what he were dead set on going on his journey. His last words
were written on a sign he wrote taken with the last picture of him in front of
his bus he wrote: “I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND THANK THE LORD, GOODBYE AND MAY
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!” (Christopher McCandless bio). His passion and life has been
so touching, and a source of inspiration to me not in the sense to travel alone
into solitude, but to always remember to take a moment to relax and feel free,
to never lose sight of what is important right in front of you he stayed
positive loving life, even in his last days.
What is
solitude? Solitude is a place of
serenity, peace and quiet to have time to relax to think about things, come up
with creative ideas, write a book, write a song, and unleash all sorts of
inspiration by just allowing one to be free to express. Advantages to solitude
are self- discovery being time to get to know oneself, to have their own
thoughts running through their mind, and to have time, peace and quiet to come
up with future goals and plans. Solitude also has the advantage of inner peace just
to have time to feel calm, happy, relaxed, and to take a long deep breathe to
allow complete focus to get things accomplished yoga, meditation, and shopping
lists. I for one love to make a list by hand because the feeling of
accomplishing something feels great, to cross one thing off the list one thing
at a time makes me feel like I’m getting things done. The third advantage is
problem- solving because to be alone allows deep thinking, deep thinking allows
time to think things through in hopes of coming up with an answer.
Disadvantages to
living in solitude are being isolated from everything, people, technology,
simple everyday pleasures like dishwashers, microwaves, etc… When people are
isolated from the world they forget how to live with and around others, they
become distant, awkward, can’t give eye contact, and have trouble trusting and
communicating with others. Communication is very important to live in a society
that is growing dependent on technology doing everything for them. People need
to keep communicating if they want to be able to trust and have relationships
with one another. To be in a successful trust worthy relationship they need to
be able to share their life with each other, they can’t do that if they have
trust issues being away from society.
A second
disadvantage to living in solitude is lack of confidence, which means a person
is unable to be comfortable with themselves and around others. Confidence is
key to living life as a leader, taking a stand to stand out in the world, and
to be different. In the workplace no matter the profession everything needs
individuality. People need to take leadership, to show they can handle and take
things into their own hands. When applying to colleges if you do not stand out
as someone who is unique they will pick someone else they feel is more open. I
want to be a college professor, when I was in middle school I thought about
teaching 8th grade, every year my dreams get bigger, now I want to
seriously teach college level, my dreams only get bigger because I am more and
more willing to advance myself, to challenging myself to being the best I can
be, confidence is a huge part of that.
There
are many different ways to live in solitude whether it is being alone in the woods
in a house, or traveling through the wilderness to find joy, and peace.
Solitude could be among a group of women trying to release their stress and
worries, a vision quest to find the hidden meaning to one’s life, or to see,
and feel closer to God through means of fasting, meditation, and or yoga. Solitude
could also be among a nunnery as well as in Amish country, both live in silence
with nuns it’s in prayer, with Amish it is with the outside world. Solitude
fills some of the most talented people we know today with immense creativity in
writing, painting, drawing, directing, acting, singing and etc…If it weren’t
for living in solitude these people never would have been inspired, or known,
and never would have changed the world as we all know it.
People are all different we all live in an
ever-changing, fast, always moving society where our main logo says “America
Runs on Dunkins” because of this we all forget to take a moment to be
expressive, relaxed, and at peace with our thoughts, goals, and ideas. Sometimes
we need to take a break from society and look at the trees moving in sync with
the wind, see the water glisten in the river flowing with smooth waves back and
forth, listen to the sounds of the ocean and birds chirping just too finally
feel our hearts beat at a steady rhythm.
The End
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